6 Ways To Know When You Should Bow Out Gracefully
We’ve all stuck it out somewhere when we know we shouldn’t have. Not to get all #SuperSoulSunday on you, but you know this can be extremely detrimental to your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, or whatever situation, there are signs and gut feelings you go through to tell when it’s time to go.
1. There’s no more fun left in it.
There’s a honeymoon phase in everything. It’s always good in the beginning, but when the honeymoon’s over, what’s next? If things start to make you roll your eyes, or you sigh anytime you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing, it might be time to quit. There could be fun found in anything, and if you make no time for it, well… bye, Felicia.
2. It starts to feel like a job or a chore.
It’s easy to say follow your passion or bliss because when you do it it doesn’t feel like work. But when you’re clocking the hours you’ve spent with your boyfriend *flag on the play!* No one wants a 9-5 relationship or friendship. If you can’t find any excitement, quit.
3. You’re just not yourself.
Storytime! (Because we all love that, and we’re friends now.) I had an ex where I was constantly walking on eggshells. He took everything so literally and personally, so I couldn’t be funny around him, and humor is a huge part of who I am. I loved to go out and he was a homebody, so we had lots of nights inside. Chile, it was a mess (among other things). I literally couldn’t do it anymore. I had to break up, and, boy, did I. I put on my newest pair of heels and hit the town running and had a blast doing it. It was that relationship epiphany where it all became so clear, and I vowed I would never get in another relationship where I lost my sense of self again.
4. There’s no challenge.
Everyone needs a challenge to grow. Imagine being stuck in the same job for 10 years where you don’t get one promotion and not one duty changes. You get bored! I don’t know about you, but the way I look at things now is if I’m not learning anything from you, I literally don’t need you around. I’ve had to make my own routine at jobs just to see if it would be something worthwhile. If you’re stuck in a rut, now is the perfect time to get out.
5. You’re stuck in the past.
I might get some flack for this, and I don’t mind, but longevity doesn’t mean too much. If you have a trifling ass friend that you’ve had for 15 years, newsflash: they are still trifling! Bit what about that time back in high school when she beat that girl down for me because she took my boyfriend? Homie, if you’re still thinking about high school boyfriends and you’re 30 years old, I’m going to need you to borrow Doc and Marty McFly’s Delorean and hop yourself into 2014. It doesn’t mean anything now. Clinging to the past will leave you stuck there. Moving forward, while it doesn’t seem like it at the time, will always be the best relief.
6. The cons outweigh the pros.
There’s nothing like writing a good, old fashioned pros and cons list. if those cons look like a grocery list, but your pros are looking like a post-it, I think this is an easy decision. From the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, author Greg McKeown says if you’re cleaning out your closet, and you came across an item where you’re not sure if you should toss, ask yourself, “Do I absolutely love it” If not, it’s got to go, and so do you.
Head over to https://www.patreon.com/selfcareirl to sign up for our exclusive membership community to receive daily pep talks, downloadable monthly self care guides, ad free podcasts, exclusive soul dump audio, guided meditations and more.