13 Healing Things to Do When a Friendship Ends
LISTEN TO EP 37: ITUNES | SPOTIFY
When a romantic relationship ends, you can expect a fair amount of sympathy from others, but with friends… not so much. Even if people notice, they rarely ask about it because of any potential awkwardness. Because even though friendships are really essential to our wellbeing, we often fail to give them the attention they deserve. In this episode, you and I are going to discuss the things we can do to help heal after our friendships end.
1. Embrace the change
Friendships will natural shift and change as life goes on; it’s not always a bad thing. Celebrate your progress, even when it means moving into new circle.
2. Spot your patterns
“Is it me? Am I the drama? I don’t think I’m the drama.” Sometimes you are the drama. Notice what you are doing or not doing in your friendships that is contributing to the end.
3. Acknowledge the conflict
Why is it so hard for us to acknowledge conflict? Sometimes friendships just naturally end, but solid friendships shouldn’t end just because you aren’t ready to talk about the conflict.
4. Put your memories in perspective
It is totally okay to just remember the happy times. They happened and they brought you joy. Discarding them can lead to resentment and bitterness. Don’t toss out any old photos.
5. Think objectively
Are you taking things a tad bit too personally? Try to look at the relationship from a distance and find some clarity in the situation.
6. Counseling
You should consider therapy even if friendships ending isn’t really your pain point right now. Everyone needs and deserves a space to freely dump their emotions and feelings.
The Path to Healing
1. Seek support
You don’t have to suffer in silence. Let your family and friends know what you’re going through. Tell them how they can help you.
2. Continue to pursue your interests
Don’t let the pain of an ending friendship let you forget your passions. But be careful: don’t let this become a distraction or crutch.
3. Make some new friends
What I know to be true is that investing too much into a single relationship really neglects the other relationships in your life. Expand your professional and personal networks.
4. Practice self care
I love a good donut or a slice of apple pie with ice cream, but emotionally eating cannot keep putting us in this chokehold. Remember the healthy foods while you heal.
5. Clear away any reminders
I know I just said not to do this, but if your grief is deep and consuming you… it is perfectly fine to remove reminders of this person. Put them in a box and toss them in a closet until you feel ready to see the reminders again.
6. Write a letter
This will bring clarity to a moment that you just can’t do in your head. Bring the thought out onto paper. Let go of the past. Focus on what you can learn from the experience. You don’t have to mail it. (If you do, don’t do it for a reply.)
7. Be gracious
We could always be a little more gracious. When friendships are on the outs, it’s tempting to make shady remarks. But you will heal way faster is you resist the pettiness that resides within us all.
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