Listen To This Episode If You Have People-Pleasing Tendencies
LISTEN TO EP 27: ITUNES | SPOTIFY
Do you find yourself trying to make everyone happy at the expense of your own needs? Do you try to make others happy as a means of avoiding confrontation? Do you feel guilty when you put yourself first? If so, you are a people-pleaser. Grab a seat, turn me up in your headphones, because this episode is for you. I’m going to convince you that people-pleasing is a really poor way to spend your time and energy and give you 7 tips to avoid people-pleasing.
“When you don’t respect your time and your needs, nobody else will. You are literally training people how to treat you badly.”
1. realize that it’s not important that everyone likes you
First of all girl, it’s not even possible! Some people won’t like you no matter what you do. Everyone has their own preferences and maybe you just ain’t it for them. You will feel so liberated once you finally understand this.
2. learn to get validation from yourself
People who are trying to please everyone generally are seeking validation externally. You don’t need that to feel good. Put your attention on pleasing yourself. Value your own opinion first, foremost, almost only.
3. just say no
With practice, it becomes a lot easier to say no to others. When you don’t have the time to do what someone asks of you, just say no. When you put pressure on yourself to make others happy, you’re actually saying no to you. It will get easier and easier over time.
4. deal with the aftermath
What are the negative consequences you’ll begin to face when you refuse inconvenient or unreasonable requests? You can expect some general negativity from others because they are used to controlling you. Stand your ground. You’ll also feel some negativity in the form of guilt— but I promise you’ll get over it quickly.
5. be prepared to lose a few people
A few people who might have been pretending to be your friend will move on when they can no longer take advantage of you. And that’s okay, because you only want people in your life who demonstrate that they care about you and your boundaries. You’ll even attract a new group of friends who help you uphold these standards.
6. drop the apologies
Avoid apologizing when you have nothing to apologize for. Set your boundaries and priorities and let people meet you where you are. You have every right to prioritize your time as you see fit because it is your time.
7. people-pleasing will create anxiety
I promise you that people-pleasing will have negative effects on your mental energy. You end up doing too much, too focused on the opinions of others. With all of that, you are going to be stressed and have anxiety.
Give your own needs and boundaries your full attention and love. At the end of the day, sis, you deserve peace just as much as anyone else.
Hope you loved this episode. If you did, please do me a favor and submit a review on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Also be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you can be the first to get new episodes. And I’d like to encourage you to share this episode on IG stories, Twitter, Facebook. Make sure you tag me, I am @tyalexander on IG and @lovetyalexander on Twitter. Just share it, girl!
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