The 15 Lies That We Need To Stop Telling Ourselves

LISTEN TO EP 34: ITUNES | SPOTIFY

December brings us all moments of reflection as we prepare for the new year. Through the years, and TBH therapy, I have learned that reflection requires us to do the deepest dive known to man into our souls. But deep dives require an honest thought. Here are the 15 lies that we need to stop telling ourselves.

1. “I don’t have a choice”

We have an unlimited number of options at any given time— we may not like the options, but we do have them.

2. “If I do X or say Y, people will think less of me”

Listen, most people don’t care. Everyone is always so preoccupied with their own lives. Try this affirmation: I am worthy despite the mistakes I make.

3. “It’s too late for me”

People graduate medical school in their 60s. People climb Mt Everest in their 80s. Of course there are additional challenges in later stages of life, but it’s still possible to do what you want to do. Challenging and impossible are completely different. Time is not promised; do all the things.

4. “Anything short of perfect is a failure”

If you have to be the best at something before you try it, you’ll never get off the couch. Focus more on enjoying what you’re doing.

5. “I’d be happy if I had more money”

Happiness and money are only correlated up to $70k/year. Having money allows for you to conveniently create joy, but you should have a firm foundation of how to create happiness even without the money.

6. “I can change him/her”

Unlikely!! Think about how hard it is to change yourself, even when you really want to change. Learn to accept others as they are or distance yourself from them.

7. “I’m limited in my ability to accomplish anything”

Learning how to walk and talk are harder than anything we will do in our entire lives. And we can all walk and talk! You are infinitely more capable than you need to be at anything.

8. “I don’t have the will power”

Everyone has the will power. It is embedded in us as human beings. But it is up to us to create an environment that helps us preserve our will power.

9. “My mental health issues keep me from being strong”

Some of the strongest people I’ve ever met have battled with depression and anxiety. And I am one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. Choose to do the mental health exercises that make you strong through these conditions.

10. “I’m too damaged”

Believing this give your old hurts power over your present and future. Let those scars be proof you are survivor rather than a victim. Seek out a therapist who will help you address these wounds.

11. “Other people would hold me back”

If you believe this and that everyone is out to get you, you won’t ever develop the support system you need to thrive.

12. “My dreams are too unrealistic”

It takes reading one inspirational biography to switch you out of this mindset. Pick your favorite hero and go. People achieve the impossible every day. Your dreams deserve to be lived.

13. “I am not worthy of wealth”

Wealth is so personal— some define it as personal finances and other define it as the depth of their inner peace. How you define it is up to you, but how you feel about your wealth will affect your confidence.

14. “I will start fresh tomorrow”

This is a classic all-or-nothing mindset. You don’t need a perfect fresh clean start on a Monday or a January 1st. Start today. Don’t give yourself the hall pass into being the person you don’t want to be.

15. “They didn’t mean it”

They probably did! It is mind boggling the excuses you, me, we make for the people inn our lives. We all screw up, and forgiveness is important, but what if we’re trying to excuse a behavior pattern? Chances are, those actions are more of a window into who they really are than what we want to believe.

RESOURCES:

Make It Happen Journal - https://tyalexander.co/downloads/p/make-it-happen-journal

5 Day Gratitude Challenge - https://tyalx.com/gratitude-challenge

My debut book, Things I Wish I Knew Before My Mom Died, is available in bookstores everywhere - https://amzn.to/3M7BZ8h

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